Green with ____

Fill in the space in the title and you win a prize. It could be a trip on the French Riviera, it could be a Kick in the Teeth - you decide!

The topic of today's rant is 'Jealousy', and what a fun topic it is. What is its purpose in today's society? I understand that it is the catalyst which inspires birds to fluff their plumage, or fish to wave their fins, or lizards to do a strange waving dance, but in relation to us in this day and age, what is its purpose?

In bygone days, I am positive that it was a chemical reaction designed to encourage territorialism. If 'territorialism' wasn't a word before today, then congratulations; you just witnessed the birth of a new word.

In regard to today's society, all it does is bring the red haze down in front of the eyes and the inhibition unit in the brain to take a holiday.

'Oh, is that jealousy? You need this headspace for a bit? No problem, I'll just go over here should I? Let me know when you're done.'

More often than not it brings out the Dickhead Factor, that wonderful human equivelant to a peacock displaying its tail. The most common form is two blokes making eyes at each other (in the violent way, not the gay way) until one snots the other. In my case, it brings out a stream of consciousness, all of it internalised, that is over and done with in about 5 seconds, leaving only a remnant to fester for two more days. I'll be in a foul mood, but the feeling will pass.

It used to bring out my innate competitiveness, but it doesn't anymore, at least not since I realised that my ground state of being is in fact one of innate competitiveness, thus rendering any new incarnation instantly redundant. I have alot of time to consider these things while I'm at work (if you were wondering). You'll know when my feathers are ruffled when I become competitive for no apparent reason. I usually won't care about winning, rather, I'll care about not losing, or at least making the other guy lose horribly.

So, with that in mind, what the fuck is the best way to deal with jealousy? One doesn't have a nest to build, one doesn't have an ornate tail to display, and one certainly does not have the time, energy or inclination to get out of one's car and slam someone's head in a door again and again and again and again and again.

What is the easy answer?

/rant off

Incidentally, and on a completely different note, does anyone know where I can get rid of the body of a 20-year-old blonde male, weighing approximately 80 kilogrammes?