Alcoholism 101

What makes a good drink?

Is it the taste? Is it the buzz? Is it the after-effect? Is it the atmosphere in which you consume it? Is it the stigma attached to it? I'm interested to know.

For me, it's a combination of taste and after-effect. If it tastes good, then the buzz isn't important, it's merely a pleasant side-effect. If I don't feel sick after drinking it, then that's a bonus too, because no one likes feeling ill.

The atmosphere in which I drink something is immensely unimportant as well. I have have many excellent nights where all I have had to drink is beer. I have also had many awful nights where all I have had to drink is beer, so, as you can imagine, atmosphere is completely redundant to me.

The stigma is a tricky one, because there are so many different ones attached to so many different drinks.

According to one friend of mine, if you drink Gin and Tonic, you are a woman in the 1920's. I find myself completely unable to argue with this position, because it cracks me up.

For the record, I quite enjoy a Gin and Tonic (See previous Note: An experiment).

According to Keanu Reeves in 'Street Kings', Vodka is odourless and buzz-inducing. Therefore we can see that odourless + buzz-inducing = fun times with handguns. I would much rather think that Vodka is a drink reserved strictly for poor Russians who have nothing to pass the time with. This concept makes me laugh. I love crazy Russians.

For the record, I quite enjoy Vodka too (and it disinfects your WHOLE digestive system. Need I say more?)

According to those prats in the movie 'Sideways', 'Red wine is a beverage which is tasty, alcoholic, and should be consumed frequently' (I'm paraphrasing here since I've only seen half the movie, and that was a long time ago). I don't disagree with this at all since, yes, red wine is tasty, alcoholic, relaxing, and warmth-inducing. It's just a shame that so many wankers drink it and wax lyrical about its 'oaky, earthy, fruity, and full-bodied assault on the palate'.

Again, for the record, I quite enjoy red wine because it's tasty and relaxing. You can ram those fruity, oaky, earthy and full-bodied adjectives up your arsehole for all I care.