Petra - Dah dahdah dahhhh dah dah dahhhhhh (Indiana Jones theme)

I arrived safely Jordan after spending most of the flight from Heathrow talking to an Iraqi Petroleum Engineer. Nice guy. He has 6 kids, lectures at Baghdad University and tells me 'Oh yes, Iraq is quite safe now.'

Jordan customs was easy to get through and I passed the 'waiting for my luggage' time by talking to one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen. She was in Jordan to visit her parents. I think she was studying in London or the US - she had a mixed accent and eyes you could lose yourself in. Her father interrupted our chat with a stern look which said 'I know how to... do things to people who talk to my daughter' - I'm not going to argue Islamic tradition with a guy with a towel on his head. I think he'd win the argument. Still, she was quite pretty.

The drive to the hotel was a no-brainer. It was late, it was dark and there was no traffic. Easy. Got to my room, crashed out, woke up, did the whole breakfast thing, crashed out again, then took a car to Petra. Cost me 65 JD which works out to $130. I didn't mind so much because we drove past some of the local buses on the way. They were very... local.

My first impression of my hostel in Petra was positive - the staff spoke excellent English and did everything they could to make me feel comfortable. Granted, my bed was a bit short (as they are everywhere for me), and the bathroom was a bit shit, but it was still a great place. (My first actual impression was 'this is a shithole', but the owner, Nasser was so kind and accommodating that my disgust with the bathroom disappeared).

The next day I fell in with a gorgeous American, Lindsay (again, taken. wtf is with me meeting people who are already taken?), and her friend Dan. We spent all day walking around Old Petra. The Treasury building is as cool in real life as it is in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It's huge and the detail is astounding. Part of me was thinking, 'Yeah, I can see how the Holy Grail could live here'. The rest of Petra is impressive, but not nearly as impressive as the Treasury, which is the first building you see. The temples carved into the cliffs are pure genius, and the Roman road that runs through the place is still in pretty good nick after all these years. The camels and donkeys screaming in the canyon below sounds exactly like the Sand People from Star Wars, and I expected Jawas to come strutting out of every cave I passed.

As we walked along the Roman Road, which these days is lined with hawkers selling miscellaneous crap, we came across a large temple which stood away from the mountains, which was odd, considering every other place in Petra is carved from the red cliff faces. It's pretty big. It's about as big as a standard-sized church back home (without the spire). Lindsay found a stone staircase filled with garbage, so we climbed it to the top of the temple. I nearly fell off the top. That was interesting to say the least. Took some photos then went back down. The stairs were in really good condition - probably because most tourists look at the stairs and put it in the 'too hard basket' because 'they're scared they might fall'. They're right. They might fall. I nearly did. 10 metres straight down, right onto my head.

From the temple we started off towards a crusader fortress which was built by the Crusaders during, you guessed it, The Crusades. Not only was Petra an important crossroads on the Incense and Silk Roads, it was also an important defensive choke point. There is an intricate canyon system in place which would funnel all troops around a certain spot - the spot where the Europeans built their fortress. It isn't really a mesa, but it isn't really a hill either. It's sort of the bastard child of both. I'm not really a fan of taking paths, so we walked off the beaten track and climbed some boulders, checked out tourist-free views, and scared the crap out of some lizards. I tried to catch one, but they were too fast which is good in hindsight because:

A. I don't know if they are poisonous
B. I was lifting up rocks without any thought to what could be beneath
C. I don't know if Jordan has venomous snakes

Still, it would've been cool to get a closeup shot of these lizards. They look a bit like the Bearded Dragons we get back home, but with fewer spiky bits. They're also really bloody fast.

The walk up to the summit of the fortress was interesting, but simple. If any of the Inca Trail people are reading this, think of it as the first kilometer or so of Day 2 - a bit steep, but pretty damn easy. We got to the top after crossing a very shitty bridge and were met by a stunning view. At the base of the outcrop runs the Roman road. On the left side of the road is a sandy hill covered in stones, and on the right sits a bunch of broken roman pillars. The road runs for about a kilometer towards the temples carved in the deep red rock in the distance. On the far right is a whole of nothing, with accompanying mountains. On the far left is a canyon system and a narrow road which leads out of the valley. That's Petra in a nutshell really. Temples, Path, nothing, Mountains, nothing, Lizards, Hills, Rocks, Hyre be Draygans.

I tried to find a faster path down to the base, and I did, if you call 'gravity' 'a faster way'. The path I chose was a line of scree which ended in a sharp vertical drop. It would be fast but quite painful, so we chose the proper path and made our way to the Monastery which we were told was 45 minutes away.

We got to the Monastery after a 15 minute walk. We either walked fast or the people who estimate these sorts of things are budgeting time for people who are well on their way to a third hip replacement. After a walk which resembled Day 1 of the Inca trail we were met with a building far bigger than the Treasury. In it's heyday, the Monastery would have been more impressive than its famous sibling, but time has not been kind to the structure. The pillars are still smooth and the roof is pretty much intact, but there are clear signs that wind and rain have worked their magic over the years. It stands 48 metres tall, and 43 metres wide, which is big in anyone's book. It's funny, the high-rises and skyscrapers back home are far bigger than these old temples, but they don't make you feel as small as these ancient structures. These old buildings have 'I will crush you and the camel you rode in on' written all over them. (I wouldn't be surprised if they did really, there's way too much carved graffiti on these things).

My guess is that they built the temples from the top-down; Carve a bit, dig down a bit, carve some more, dig down some more etc etc, so it's already easier than using scaffolding, but it doesn't stop it being a marvel. Every tap of the chisel had to be precise or else the artisan would be screwing up hours or weeks worth of work. Remember that these buildings were carved out of a single lump of rock. Yes they are bloody big rocks, but they are still just single rocks.

We grabbed photos then trekked back to the entrance which meant going past the Treasury again. It was even more impressive the second time around. It might be because the light was different, it might be because there were fewer people, it might be because we'd seen everything else and it had paled in comparison, or it might have been a combination of both. I managed to get a few iconic shots (altho none completely devoid of people) before walking through the Siq to the entrance.

For those of you playing at home, the Siq is a pathway through the tall canyons. It's cool and dark in there, and I was continually scanning for lines to climb. I need to get back into rockclimbing when I get home. At the top of the path (which is a damn sight longer going up than going down) I parted ways with the Americans. I think they only let the good ones out of the country to go travelling because I haven't met an arsehole yank yet. After saying our goodbyes I walked back up the hill to the hostel. It was here that I had an epiphany.

I understand religion! Fancy that, me of all people. Yes, I understand it now, and I shall explain why.

Christianity, Judaism and Islam all originated in the same area. Know why? Because the creators of these religions were all completely fucking out-of-control crazy. The countries these religions started in are hot, dry, dusty, devoid of water in alot of places and completely barren. These people had nothing better to do than tell stories to each other. To me it seems that they all felt that there was no way known that they could all be as collectively unlucky to end up in a place as bare as this, so they concluded that someone out there must be holding the grudge to end all grudges against them. It was then clear that they had to appease this invisible force in the hopes that he/she/they/it would deliver them from harm. Here's an idea: Go for a walk to where there is water. The Nile Valley isn't that far, really. The Tigris and Euphrates rivers aren't that far either. Hell, walking to Europe would be more productive than talking to the sky.

I have no problem at all with the concept of a guy called Jesus being alive two thousand years ago, nor the fact that he might have been a nice bloke to have a cup of tea with. I just don't buy all the supernatural or 'but he will save me' stuff that goes along with it. Same goes for the Prophet Mohammed.

What I've seen of 'The Holy Land' both in real life and on television makes me wonder if there is a more unholy place on the face of the earth. It's barren desert, there has been fighting here for thousands of years, and no one can agree who told their story first.
Still, nice people here in Jordan, really accomodating, it's just a shame that the landscape isn't as hospitable as its people and that the insanity of their religions has reflected badly on them as people.

Tomorrow I leave for Cairo for 7 days, then Luxor for 7 days after that. I think there's two days of travel in there somewhere as well. I'm going to blow my budget a bit in Egypt - I NEED to get to Abu Simbel near Aswan. Saving money, even while on a budget, is a very good thing.

See you in the Land of the Pyramids.