Saturday, April 18, 2009

Not on a boat, not with a stoat, won't stay afloat

Day two started with the obligatory '2 pieces of bread, tea and a hard boiled egg' and a quick sail downriver. It was here that the captain disembarked to pick up more water (the pillock hadn't picked up all the water we'd ordered, he'd just pocketed the cash) and to 'conduct some business in Aswan). We sailed for 2 more km in an air of frustrated silence and landed on the other bank to wait for the captain. We were there for 2.5 hours while a nice breeze blew. A breeze that should have been taking us to our destination. We argued with the acting captain, we tried to work out what was going on, and it was generally not fun. Amongst all this tension were a few relaxing moments, but on the whole, it was tense. Captain useless returned with not enough water. Again, he'd pocketed some of the cash and only brought back two thirds of what we'd ordered. It was at this point that we labelled our water bottles and made the decision to drink sparingly to conserve water. This was supposed to be a relaxing cruise, not an exercise in water rationing.

After lunch we pestered the captain until he came clean. Apparently, all the feluccas take the same route all the time. 2 nights, 2 days, start here, stop there, no we never reach Luxor on this trip, it is impossible. Once he'd told the truth and reassured us that our transports would meet us the next day and take us where we needed to go, we all relaxed. All they had to do was tell us the truth from the start. Later in the aternoon we stopped in a faster section of the Nile to go for a swim. It was incredibly refreshing. We sailed on until just before dusk when we stopped on a long sandy beach. It sounds nice, but the Egyptians seem to treat every flat surface like a rubbish tip, so we had to be careful where we were stepping. A few of us spent an hour or so collecting enough wood and lumps of charcoal for a small fire which we lit on the beach near our boat. That bit was blissful. Fire, friends, a beach and a belly full of pasta. Three of us were in Galabayas and I had my white scarf around my head. I looked like Jesus haha. Watched the sky and the fire for a long time and just talked crap. It was nice to be properly relaxed. Went to bed at 10pm and woke at 5:30am to find that we were already under sail. At 8am our 'private air-conditioned car' arrived. It wasn't private, nor was it a car. It was a minibus packed with europeans. So it was an uncomfortable ride to the temples of Ko Ombo and Edfu. Ko Ombo was impressive because of the 4,000 year old paint that still clung to the stone pillars and the intricate carvings all over the wall.
Edfu was impressive because it was designed to be. Colossal pillars stood around a courtyard which in turn acted as an entrance to a dark pillared temple. The bas reliefs ran high up the 20 metre high walls and the paint could still be seen in places where the sun and rain don't reach. Incredible stuff. What's even more incredible is that the human race lost the ability to do this stuff for 700 years after the Roman Empire collapsed. We could be on Mars by now.

Speaking of Christians delaying the progress of human society, we found out that the defaced carvings in the temples were done out of jealousy by Christians hiding from the Romans. When the Romans came a'huntin', the people ran into the temples for refuge and decided that they should try and erase the 'false gods' from the walls. Most of the Greater Temple had been filled with sand at the time, so it was spared, thankfully, but still, what gives these terrified groups of lion food the right to erase history?

From Edfu we continued in the bus to Luxor where we checked into the hotel before heading to the temples of Karnak and Luxor. Fun Fact: Karnak is the largest worship site in the world. The Room of Columns has over 100 pillars, all decorated in rich carvings and paintings. It blows my mind that PAINT survived the elements for 4,000 years. 1 point Pharoahs, 0 points Dulux Solarguard. It's hard to describe, but if you imagine a shitload of elaborately carved statues, pillars and obelisks, spaced evenly in accordance with the passage of the sun, then you get some sort of idea of the grandeur and precision of the place. Luxor temple was a waste of time and money. We could have seen the best bits from the road. If it was the only temple in these parts, then it would be impressive, but since it's one of the smallest, it's a sort of non-event. It's funny, for years I've wanted to go to all these places, but now that I'm here I've found myself thinking 'Oh, another statue. Oh, another carving. Oh, another bit of ancient paintwork. I'm bored.' THIS THOUGHT PROCESS IS AWESOME because it means that I've seen and experienced so much that it has become normal. Who would've thought that that would even be possible? That seeing ancient relics would turn into 'meh' moments? It's something that I really appreciate because it means I've soaked up ever iota of information here.


This post is quite the wall of text, but the week was a busy one.


The next day I went to the Valley of the Kings, the Valley of the Queens and Hatsephut's temple. KV (King's valley on the maps) is a desolate place, and hardly a place you'd associate with Pharoahs. Our guide sounded like a wikipedia soundbite, without all the useful information, so I ditched him and walked around the valley on my own. I saw the tomb of Thutmosis III and it was impressive. There is intricate paintwork on every flat surface except for the floor. On the ceiling there are yellow stars painted on a deep blue sky, on the walls there are protective spells for his journey to the afterlife, on the pillars are grid lines for work that was never finished. It was a really deep tomb and unbelieveably humid and stuffy, but it was well worth the visit. There are more stars underground in KV than there are in the sky above Cairo.

The next tomb was that of Tutankhamen. It's small, but it's a nice place. I got there before the crowd and spent the time looking at the few paintings on his walls, the quartzite sacrophagus and the King's body. He's quite a short guy and his nose is squashed from the mummification process. There isn't a great deal to see down there, but the experience is unforgettable.

Ramses I next. It's a shaft which ends in a decorated burial chamber. Lots of yellow paint on the walls, and lots of representations of the Pharoah and Osiris. The theory is that he died a sudden death, so the tomb could never be constructed in the manner in which it was intended. Even the coffin looks rushed.

The last tomb I saw before I left was that of Ramses IV. It's the largest publically-accessible tomb in the valley, and also the most richly decorated. The ceiling is at least 4 metres high, the corridor at least 4 metres wide, and the tomb about 50 metres deep. Everything is perfectly square and everything is perfectly painted. The hieroglyphs are dead-vertical, the spacing of the stars is even and the angle of the tomb messes with perspective so it looks alot bigger than it is. The sacrophagus is an immense block of granite, and it doesn't take a genius to work out how they got it there; they dragged it. There is none of the 'how did they get such a large object down sch a small hole' here. It looks deliberately rough too. It's as if the king said, 'I want to use that lump of rock for my sarcophagus', only to have the architect say 'But sir, the tomb is too small', to which the king would have replied 'Then make it bigger. Then make it bigger again.'

When you look towards the burial chamber from the entrance it looks like the final destination of an adventure film. There, at the end of a highly-decorated tunnel lies whatever it is the hero is searching for. The sarcophagus sits there like an immovable toad, and I love it.

Hatsephut's temple was impressive due to the government's restoration effort, but I'd seen most of the stuff in other places. I was never interested in this temple when I was a kid because it's so similar to the structures built by the Romans - colums, columns, columns. It's a pity we couldn't get into the temple inside the cave because from what I saw through a security grill, it's really deep and richly decorated. The paint looks new. I think I got a photo.

Queen's Valley was just like the King's valley, but smaller and less impressive. The one standout feature was a picture of the dead queen dancing with her husband. It's the first intimate moment I've seen on a tomb or temple wall. On some level, the Pharoah and his wife were still people like everyone else, regardless of what they told the population. Went back to the hotel after lunch and got screwed around some more by the money-grabbing bastards that seem to be around every corner in this country. We caught the train back to Cairo at 9pm, had a drink in the bar carriage after arguing with a waiter about whether the carriage existed at all (he said it didn't, just so he could overcharge on drinks), then went to sleep. I slept like a baby and we arrived in Cairo at 9am. I spent the day with a Scottish bloke, Bradley before heading out to a fast food dinner with Christian and a few girls who were staying in our hotel. One of them was an Indian/Kiwi/Aussie who spoke with a mixed accent. Clear Aussie one second, a touch of fush and chups the next, only to be followed by a couple of lilting indian words a moment later. She swore and drank and generally caused a spectacle. I'm not sure the Egyptians knew what was going on. Good value, and has some ties to actors in Bollywood. Yes Chris I got her details and can give you info on that when I get home. You might be able to catch up with her in Mumbai in November. Yes, I know, you worship the ground I walk on.

That's most of my Egypt adventures in a nutshell, but I have way more stories to tell when I get home, including the one where I was *this* close to punching an 8-year-old right in the middle of his stupid little face.

I leave on a jet plane tonight and get back at some point Monday.

Egypt - A Conclusion will be up in a few days.

BAKSHEESH!

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