I figured I'd start this with some context.
I'm going overseas for 6 weeks as of Tuesday the 3rd of March 2009. My first stop is Los Angeles, followed by Cancun in Mexico, Cuzco in Peru, London in the UK, Amman and Petra in Jordan and Cairo and Luxor in Egypt. The idea is that I'm seeing everything I wanted to see when I was 8 years old. The only thing missing is a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but let's face it; 8-year-olds don't really have a firm grasp on reality.
I'll have 6 nights in LA, 4-5 nights in Mexico, 12 nights in Peru, 1 night in London, 4 nights in Jordan and 16 nights in Egypt... That's all approximate because I really can't be arsed working it out.
I'll use this site to keep people updated, should they wish to travel vicariously through me. I'm back on the 20th of April. I promise to not enter everything that happens here because that would leave me with no stories to tell when I get back.
I hope you've all been immunised, because this is one hell of a trip.
Cheers
PS. As a really important addendum, do NOT SMS or Call me on my mobile when I'm gone. You'll incur MASSIVE phone costs, as will I. If you need to get in touch with me, just message me on facebook or leave a comment here. Thanks
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Facebook Poker
I confused the shit out of a guy on a poker table
I joined the game and typed, for a bit of a laugh
'Hey! He's using marked cards! ~draws six shooter~'
To which a player replied 'HOW??????'
I love scaring idiots
I joined the game and typed, for a bit of a laugh
'Hey! He's using marked cards! ~draws six shooter~'
To which a player replied 'HOW??????'
I love scaring idiots
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Morality Equation
I've done it! I've actually fucking done it! Or at least I think I have. I think I've developed an equation which can calculate the probability of someone questioning your morality online.
Also, I usually hate maths... this just seemed to click with me. I'm calling it 'Law 23'. I could name it after myself but... that stuff doesn't fly. My age will have to suffice.
This Law is in response to people saying 'dude, your sense of what is appropriate and what isn't is way off' after I link them something. Similar comments are 'Gee, your moral compass isn't fucked or anything, is it?' or 'Christ! That's fucking terrible!'
It goes thusly:
Years spent online = Y
Length of 'offending' comment (in sentences) = L
Time taken to articulate said thought (minutes) = T
Probability of having your moral compass questioned = Mo
1/(Y x (L/T)) = Mo
Here's an example: A friend types out something which is pretty dodgy. The odds of me questioning his morality can be calculated like this:
Years I've spent 'living' online: 10
Length of comment = 4
Time taken to articulate said comment = 2 minutes.
.: 1 / (10 x (4/2)) = Mo
.: 1 / (10 x 2) = Mo
.: 1 / 20 = Mo.
.: There is a 1 in 20 chance of me questioning my mate's morality
This Law supports the theory that people new to the digital space are naive beyond all belief and are not accustomed to the internet's cultural conventions.
It also supports the fact that sometimes the shortest of comments can be the most offensive.
However, the most important theory that this Law supports is the one that goes 'Some people need empirical evidence before they shut the hell up' ie. 'SEE? You ARE naive! Law 23 PROVES it!'
I hope you can use this Law for both good and evil. I hope you can use it to prove to people that your moral compass isn't flawed, rather it's their digital inexperience which causes them to be offended.
'It's You, not Me'.
Cheers.
Also, I usually hate maths... this just seemed to click with me. I'm calling it 'Law 23'. I could name it after myself but... that stuff doesn't fly. My age will have to suffice.
This Law is in response to people saying 'dude, your sense of what is appropriate and what isn't is way off' after I link them something. Similar comments are 'Gee, your moral compass isn't fucked or anything, is it?' or 'Christ! That's fucking terrible!'
It goes thusly:
Years spent online = Y
Length of 'offending' comment (in sentences) = L
Time taken to articulate said thought (minutes) = T
Probability of having your moral compass questioned = Mo
1/(Y x (L/T)) = Mo
Here's an example: A friend types out something which is pretty dodgy. The odds of me questioning his morality can be calculated like this:
Years I've spent 'living' online: 10
Length of comment = 4
Time taken to articulate said comment = 2 minutes.
.: 1 / (10 x (4/2)) = Mo
.: 1 / (10 x 2) = Mo
.: 1 / 20 = Mo.
.: There is a 1 in 20 chance of me questioning my mate's morality
This Law supports the theory that people new to the digital space are naive beyond all belief and are not accustomed to the internet's cultural conventions.
It also supports the fact that sometimes the shortest of comments can be the most offensive.
However, the most important theory that this Law supports is the one that goes 'Some people need empirical evidence before they shut the hell up' ie. 'SEE? You ARE naive! Law 23 PROVES it!'
I hope you can use this Law for both good and evil. I hope you can use it to prove to people that your moral compass isn't flawed, rather it's their digital inexperience which causes them to be offended.
'It's You, not Me'.
Cheers.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and on this very server
was a spawn-camping sniper, aiming with fervour.
His weapon was oiled, his scope was well-polished,
and he knew all too well that he would soon be admonished.
His places of hiding were chosen with relish,
in order to top the highscore chart he cherished.
The countdown had started, the game had begun,
the spawn-camping sniper was going to have fun.
'You cheat', nublets cried, 'You're clearly a hacker!'
'Well YOU suck at this game, you noob fucktard slacker'.
The insults rained down from every approach,
yet there was one subject they were to broach.
'Goddamit, you prick, you aimbotting faggot!'
'Boom headshot!' rejoiced the spawn-camping braggart.
'We're sick of your shit, you game-hacking scum!'
'Why don't you go home and then bareback your mum?'
'Reported' noobs cried, 'that's clearly harassment!'
'You sure you're not suffering from abject embarassment?'
'Boom headshot again!' the camper announced with great glee.
(His score had just ticked over to twenty three).
The noob players struggled, their plans were in tatters,
again and again their heads burst open in splatters.
The game was half over, the time was half through!
And yet the spawn-camper had so much to do.
He was still yet to kill someone with pistol or knife,
'I sure am so lucky that I have no real life'
He zoomed and he shot as the time ticked away,
'You cheat and you suck and your father is GAY!'
One minute was left, and victory was close,
yet our favourite camper was to be pipped at the post.
'Spawn_Camper_Oh_One has been killed by an admin'
'The fuck d'you do that for? I was going to win!
The time had wound down, the game was now done,
yet everyone stayed to watch the imminent fun.
'You cheated, you hacked and you exploited mechanics,
and you play to the beat of a terrible dance-mix.'
'FUCK YOU' shrieked the camper, his arms flailing in the air.
'Fuck you and your rules and your server, this ain't fair!'
The admin just smiled and was quite polite,
'I hope you like playing a game made of sprites!'
The camper was perma-banned, and the admin said with disgust,
'No one reads ever the EULA... DID SOMEONE JUST CUSS???'
Merry Christmas from one gamer to a group of others.
was a spawn-camping sniper, aiming with fervour.
His weapon was oiled, his scope was well-polished,
and he knew all too well that he would soon be admonished.
His places of hiding were chosen with relish,
in order to top the highscore chart he cherished.
The countdown had started, the game had begun,
the spawn-camping sniper was going to have fun.
'You cheat', nublets cried, 'You're clearly a hacker!'
'Well YOU suck at this game, you noob fucktard slacker'.
The insults rained down from every approach,
yet there was one subject they were to broach.
'Goddamit, you prick, you aimbotting faggot!'
'Boom headshot!' rejoiced the spawn-camping braggart.
'We're sick of your shit, you game-hacking scum!'
'Why don't you go home and then bareback your mum?'
'Reported' noobs cried, 'that's clearly harassment!'
'You sure you're not suffering from abject embarassment?'
'Boom headshot again!' the camper announced with great glee.
(His score had just ticked over to twenty three).
The noob players struggled, their plans were in tatters,
again and again their heads burst open in splatters.
The game was half over, the time was half through!
And yet the spawn-camper had so much to do.
He was still yet to kill someone with pistol or knife,
'I sure am so lucky that I have no real life'
He zoomed and he shot as the time ticked away,
'You cheat and you suck and your father is GAY!'
One minute was left, and victory was close,
yet our favourite camper was to be pipped at the post.
'Spawn_Camper_Oh_One has been killed by an admin'
'The fuck d'you do that for? I was going to win!
The time had wound down, the game was now done,
yet everyone stayed to watch the imminent fun.
'You cheated, you hacked and you exploited mechanics,
and you play to the beat of a terrible dance-mix.'
'FUCK YOU' shrieked the camper, his arms flailing in the air.
'Fuck you and your rules and your server, this ain't fair!'
The admin just smiled and was quite polite,
'I hope you like playing a game made of sprites!'
The camper was perma-banned, and the admin said with disgust,
'No one reads ever the EULA... DID SOMEONE JUST CUSS???'
Merry Christmas from one gamer to a group of others.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Stopping the Clean Feed
Just another way you can help stop the proposed internet filter. Also, there's an anti-censorship protest on the steps of Parliament House in Adelaide at noon on the 13th of December.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Google is absolutely useless
Ok, so there's this suicide video a comedy duo put together ages ago, and I want to watch it again.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Can anything be funnier than suicide?' I was going to answer 'No', then I remembered a really funny anorexia video, so my judgement might be a bit clouded. At any rate, the suicide video goes like this:
Guy 1: 'I'm seriously considering killing myself'
Guy 2: 'Holy shit. Really?'
Guy 1: 'Hell no man. I'm just fucking with you. But seriously, I'm going to kill myself'
It goes on like that for ages until Guy 1 hangs himself at the end. It's a really funny video, but do you think I can find something constructive on Google with the keywords: 'suicide joke comedy hang 'I'm seriously going to hang myself''?
HELL NO!
It's all serious and shit. Have you got ANY idea how many emo kids there are out there who post their suicidal intentions on the net? I'll give you a hint: 'The answer is "seven"'.
'Someone help me, I'm all depressed and gear, no one understands me. Also, I really like listening to shitty music' is a pretty popular subject.
'Everyone laughs at my stupid haircut, and makes fun of me because I wear makeup and talk alot of shit' is another one which I may or may not have made up just then.
These kids are crying out for help, and it's sad to see that alot of them aren't getting the support they need from their family and friends. I felt bad for them, so I took it upon myself to reach out and give these people the assistance they need, because no one else would.
I sent each of them a length of rope and a book called 'The Big Book of Useful Knots'.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Can anything be funnier than suicide?' I was going to answer 'No', then I remembered a really funny anorexia video, so my judgement might be a bit clouded. At any rate, the suicide video goes like this:
Guy 1: 'I'm seriously considering killing myself'
Guy 2: 'Holy shit. Really?'
Guy 1: 'Hell no man. I'm just fucking with you. But seriously, I'm going to kill myself'
It goes on like that for ages until Guy 1 hangs himself at the end. It's a really funny video, but do you think I can find something constructive on Google with the keywords: 'suicide joke comedy hang 'I'm seriously going to hang myself''?
HELL NO!
It's all serious and shit. Have you got ANY idea how many emo kids there are out there who post their suicidal intentions on the net? I'll give you a hint: 'The answer is "seven"'.
'Someone help me, I'm all depressed and gear, no one understands me. Also, I really like listening to shitty music' is a pretty popular subject.
'Everyone laughs at my stupid haircut, and makes fun of me because I wear makeup and talk alot of shit' is another one which I may or may not have made up just then.
These kids are crying out for help, and it's sad to see that alot of them aren't getting the support they need from their family and friends. I felt bad for them, so I took it upon myself to reach out and give these people the assistance they need, because no one else would.
I sent each of them a length of rope and a book called 'The Big Book of Useful Knots'.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
It's not very long, but it tries really really hard
If I don't have a solid job at the end of January 2009, I'm going overseas for a couple of months. Not to look for work, not to look for myself, but to look for things. Many people I know have travelled/are travellers and through various recent catalysts I too have plucked up the... courage? desire? lust? to see things that I've always wanted to see.
What I'd like from whoever reads this is some ideas or suggestions.
I MUST go to Machu Picchu/Peru, I MUST go to Chichen Itza, and I MUST go to the Giza Plateau and Petra. Europe might be nice. Siberia wouldn't be. Name some places, name some countries. Those who know me will think of some places I'd like to see, those who don't know me all that well might name some places that I'd never considered but would quite enjoy, those who don't know me at all might name some places which no one in their right mind would go to.
Cheers
What I'd like from whoever reads this is some ideas or suggestions.
I MUST go to Machu Picchu/Peru, I MUST go to Chichen Itza, and I MUST go to the Giza Plateau and Petra. Europe might be nice. Siberia wouldn't be. Name some places, name some countries. Those who know me will think of some places I'd like to see, those who don't know me all that well might name some places that I'd never considered but would quite enjoy, those who don't know me at all might name some places which no one in their right mind would go to.
Cheers
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